A second chance for the ayahuasca
Updated: Oct 20, 2019
Some names are changed to protect their privacy.
The American woman, Melanie, came to the Casa de la Ayahuasca with the Shipibo Shaman and her 24 years old son, who was getting trained to be an ayahuasquero.
When I could, I took Sofia the ayahuasquera apart and told her how was my experience 2 nights before with the ayahuasca. She looked at the bottle containing it and said it was too watery and told Mark (the gringo ayahuasquero of the house) to make it thicker because as it is now, it does not make it. Mark got upset and said that would be much too strong and told Sofia that I only said that nothing happened to me, but it actually did, just I don´t know. Again, as if I´m stupid and he knows more than me about what was going on in my own head. If he would be a real ayahuasquero, I might believe him, but not somebody who spent all his life repairing houses and starting in this path since only few years, because the good ayahuasqueros start being children or teenagers.
He really didn´t like the presence of the ayahuasquera there because that was “his territory”, but at the end, at least they made the ayahuasca a bit stronger. Mark did the ceremony and Sofia and her son were sitting on a mattress on the floor as assistants. Sofia gave us the ayahuasca and during the ceremony Mark was singing his childish icaros but luckily, sometimes Sofia and her son, and theirs were completely different. She was singing in Shipibo, while Mark was singing his “la la la” songs, and this time when singing in “Spanish” he was translating it into English (for Melanie) which sounded still more ridiculous, but I have to say that with the English I could understand what he was saying, because his Spanish was with too much of a gringo accent pronouncing it all wrong.
This time, I felt something happening. When Sofia asked if we wanted more, I didn´t want and Melanie could not even answer. She already vomited just after few minutes of taking it.
This time I could talk with Ayahuasca, but again, it was not a clear voice, but my internal voice. The conversations were longer and she answered to my questions. Still, I was not sure if the answers were right. I asked her “is that you really talking, or it is just my imagination making it up?” and she said “you will find out”.
When towards the end Mark came to us to blow the mapacho (tobacco) and he reached me, I asked him to leave me alone. I really didn´t want his energy to touch me. Not in that moment at least.
We started the ceremony at 7:30 pm and it finished at 10pm. Around 2 am I asked Madre Ayahuasca to help me to vomit, to see if this time I feel something more afterwards. She said “turn around a look for the bucket”, even if I didn´t feel like vomiting, I turned around and as my hand touched the bucket suddenly the vomit came. Again, as the day before, Mark came and wanted to talk non-sense, but as a way of escaping from him, I said I needed to go to the toilet, which was anyway true as also something came from the “other way”, but when I lied down again afterwards, I didn´t feel anything special.
The psychedelic colors and shapes were also very short time there and only 2-3 times during the night. But to see those was not my goal, I wanted to see the visions that it seems most of the people see. But again, I didn´t and I only saw images and “visions”, but nothing to really be amazed about. Still my meditations are much better than the experiences with the ayahuasca. Now it got clear to me that Ayahuasca is not my thing. But because I came all the way here for this experience and because I got that “instruction” during a meditation back home, I will try again, but definitively not here even if I paid for one more session.
Sofia told me that this people are not using chacruna, the male side of the female ayahuasca and they have to be used together for it to function. When I asked Alan at the beginning, he told me that he uses chacruna together with Chaliponga, but Sofia said they used other plants, which are also strong, but that traditionally is chacruna and might be a reason for that, coming down many generations of shamans. So, why they make their own drink?. For me, it didn´t work.
I went to town with Melanie and Sofia. Melanie and me spent the day together coming to know each other and she told me more about ayahuasca which was very useful for me and also that this experience with aya was the worst she ever had. That it was dirty and got told from Aya not to do it again with this people.
We went with Sofia to the Pasaje Paquito, the market where they sell many different kind of plants and drinks for healing, to buy some incense. Melanie decided to leave from Iquitos because it was clear to her, she would not do any business with Alan as the energy was dirty, not only the place. I agreed with Sofia to meet her and do the next aya session with her in her village.
We made an appointment to meet next day, but before I told Mark, he said Alan told him that I will leave next day, as apparently Mark gets paid for the day he “takes care” of us, and if I leave next day, then Alan will not pay him. I felt pity for him as in that moment he was kind and nice, and I decided to stay there one more day and do the San Pedro, which I already paid for it anyway.
When I told Melanie about the San Pedro and that Alan told me the first day that they will give me the cup with it and I drink it when I want and do what I want, she said San Pedro doesn´t work like that but should be done in a ceremony also. Well, again, that is not the style of these gringos here.
I called Sofia again and changed our appointment for 2 days later, so I would do the San Pedro here alone the next day.
Mark kept in complaining the next couple of days about Sofia and what she did with the ayahuasca. He said it was too strong and since then he feels sick but for me it was good because at least it did something in me. Not what expected, but at least something. He also complaint that the icaros of Sofia were stupid songs and that is not what it´s supposed to be.
He can´t understand he got the training from some ayahuasquero and his style, and that each person and each tribe has his style. I found the icaros of Sofia much better than the “la la la” icaros of Mark.
Anyway, after I will do the San Pedro next day, I will leave to meet Sofia and do the aya with her.